Monday, February 20, 2012

Humble and Hopeful

So, I have to let myself squee for a moment. Today, I totally got groomed by a wallaby. YOU GUYS. CUTEST THING EVER. (Aside from maybe wallabies themselves. Or sugar gliders. I'm quickly gaining a sugar glider infatuation as well). 

Anyway. Moving on.

In the past few weeks, you've seen us dream big and talk about rituals. This week, we're going to show our humble sides and share a little household disaster with you. You know when you have those moments where you're not thinking and you pour bleach in the toilet bowl right after you pee? (What? That doesn't happen to everyone?) (Note: PSA: DON'T DO THIS-- the ammonia in urine reacts with the bleach to make mustard gas. Yikes). (By the way, that goes for any products with ammonia/ bleach in them).

Or maybe you're cooking and something in the oven catches fire. You open the door to assess the situation and it goes from a tiny kitchen fire to an inferno. (This totally happened to my husband before we even met).

We've all had these moments, and while we don't usually like sharing them with other people, it's time. We're going to air our dirty proverbial (or perhaps literal) laundry. We're going to share something stupid we've all done.

Mine is... pretty spectacular. See, in October of 2010, I got married. During this "wedding" business, I had fancy tables set up where people ate, drank, chatted, etc. And on those tables were cylinder vases-- tall, clear glass cylinders. Inside were river rock pebbles and a pillar candle. The candles were lit during the evening, and at the end of the night, all of the centerpieces came back home to me.

A few months later (yeah, don't judge) found me trying to clean out said cylinder vases. A lot of them had wax melted down into the pebbles and stuck to the glass, but they still popped out relatively easily.

Except for one. One little vase, where the wax and pebbles had managed to form a lump so stubborn that nothing was working to get it out. I tried leverage, hot water, and finally-- got the brilliant idea to try and warm the vase on the stove, thus melting the wax and freeing the whole mass.

I'm sure you can see where this is going.

I turned on the burner, inching the vase carefully closer and closer to the flame. 

Thank goodness I had the smart idea to stay in the room. About five minutes later, instead of melting, the whole thing just... exploded. Luckily, the glass didn't go far, but it DID burst into flames. Huge, tall flames.

In a panic, I turned off the stove... but the flames had caught the candle wax and were still going strong. I was home alone, I didn't know anything about gas-powered stoves, and I was pretty sure I was going to die.

So I called 911. The polite operator told me to pack up my animals and, pardon my acronomic language, GTFO. I did, shaking and scared the whole time.

The firefighters got here fast. I'm sure they couldn't help but laugh at the terrified housewife who thought her stove was going to explode and kill her. The fire was a measly two inches high by the time they arrived, and went out while they were there. They were nice enough to clean the wax off my stove and refused the Girl Scout cookies I offered them in thanks.

Then I had the fun task of calling my husband and explaining how I'd almost burned the house down and had to call the fire department.

He still teases me about it, almost a year later. Also, I'm not allowed to try "projects" while I'm home alone. (My idea, not his). 

Also also, I am now petrified of exploding glass, and can't turn on that burner without flinching.

I think my favorite part of the whole thing is how utterly dumb it was to even try in retrospect. Yet, at the time, it seemed like a perfectly valid thing to do (obviously).

Have you ever had a "great" idea go horribly wrong?

4 comments:

Linda G. said...

We used same idea at my daughter's wedding--the cylinder vases with river rocks and pillar candles. So pretty!

Most of them are still in my basement, and, uh, we haven't tried to clean them yet. (What? It's only been five years.) Now I don't think I'll ever get around to it. ;)

Taryn Tyler said...

Ahhhh! That sounds like a really scary adventure. I'm glad neither you or any of your animals were hurt though :D

L. T. Host said...

Linda-- pro tip, if you ever decide to clean them out after all: don't do it on the stove. *nods*

Taryn-- it was! I was pretty glad, too. It always seems like the bad things I'm dreading never happen the way I fear they will. but it still scared me.

K. Marie Criddle said...

Ahhhh! I don't care how old you are, how LITTLE of a fire it is...kitchen fires freak the CRAP out of me. I'm glad you and all animals are okay!