The Wracking of Nerves

I'm not going to lie, friends. I'm a worrier. Like, a clinical worrier. I literally can't help it. I overthink a lot of stuff because I already have an analytical mind. Couple that with serious worrying and you have the recipe for stress (and disaster).

I've learned a few coping strategies over the years. But sometimes something just consumes me so fully that I can't think of anything else. And that's why today I'm writing about this instead of... writing. It's a gut-wrenching feeling, deep inside, that just unsettles you.

I'm very unsettled right now.

See, this time next week could be my last day at my wonderful, lovely, amazing job.

Re-reading that post helps a little, to see my attitude about it six months ago when I started this whole adventure. But still.

One week left.

Maybe.

What's driving me nuts is that I STILL don't know. They still haven't told us if they're keeping us or not. Which, to me, doesn't exactly speak well for the possibility. I mean, if there was good news, you'd think they'd want to share it as soon as they had it.

I've heard some rumors that they will keep a few of us. Rumors coming from people who are close to people who would know. But rumors bring me little comfort. (Read: zero). I won't believe it til I hear it from the people who make the decisions.

But the people who make the decisions were supposed to do a short follow-up interview with each of us before making those decisions. They were supposed to know by the end of the month.

That's Wednesday.

Most of those people aren't even at work the same time as the staff they need to tell these things to until Friday or Saturday.

At this point, I'm a little afraid that when they publish the schedule for next week on Wednesday evening, we just-- won't be on there.

Here's a funny little snapshot of my neuroses. At least, I think it's funny. I sent my boss a "happy birthday" text this afternoon, apologizing that I won't be able to make it to her party later tonight. She wrote back "Thanks. We will miss you. :("

I, of course, was fine with that text for about a moment and then the panic set in. Miss me TONIGHT? Or miss me FOREVER?

See?!

I think it's safe to say I'm going crazy. In the mean time, at least I have work (for now) and school to keep me busy. And you guys.

And that, my friends, is why I don't have a real blog post for you today.

*Longest Apology Blog Post Ever*