Friday, May 28, 2010

GUEST POST: Why I hate Peter F. Hamilton with the Fiery Passion of a Thousand Suns

Bernice Mills is an as yet unpublished (just you wait, people, I am going to rock your world so hard...) author of many many novels, all of which suck. The one she's working on now has zombies, and doesn't suck. It bites.You may find her at http://jaggedrain.wordpress.com/ where she rants about live, love, the inevitable Zombie Apocalypse, and South African politics.

Yes, you heard me, a thousand suns. That’s a whole lot of fiery passion, you know.

And here’s why. I am, once again and against my better judgement, reading the Night’s Dawn trilogy. I am now almost finished with Book 3, and I haven’t had a decent night’s sleep in three weeks.

For those of you who don’t know, the ND trilogy is truly massive. And by that I mean every one of the three books is fatter than the entire Lord of the Rings. Many, many words.

So B, you might say unto me, why the hate? If you don’t want to read four thousand plus pages of science fiction with a side of ghosts, DON’T.

Of course, it’s not that simple. Because Peter F. Hamilton is AWESOME. The ND trilogy is so beyond anything I’ve ever read, SF-wise, that I cry when it’s finished, because there’s no more! I only have one real problem with the whole thing, and that is this: PFH is a terribly inconsiderate author. Most books, you see, have a part where they slow down every couple of chapters (personally, I think this is so that their devoted fans will actually have some time to sleep, but that’s just my humble opinion.) Nobody can really write all those words and have them all be equally gripping, right? Right? Wrong. This evil, evil man has gone and written a massive trilogy, of which every single word is totally action-packed and riveting, and every character is fully realised. No cardboard characters here, just real people. Real people with some serious, serious issues. And Al Capone. Al Capone, for crying into my coffee! Who writes books about spaceships and antimatter and bio-engineered space habitats and then puts in Al Capone and ghosts?

Peter F. Hamilton, that’s who.

And I consider it my civic duty to warn you, my dear readers, of this vile personage and his evil fiction. Which I have now done.

Go on, pick up the Night’s Dawn trilogy. I dare you.

Consider yourself warned.

4 comments:

Bane of Anubis said...

Need to check this out... An awesome...belly-buster that's actually finished (GRRM, I'm talking to you.) Sounds like it's got all the elements to make this dog drool ;)

L. T. Host said...

Thanks for posting for us, Bernice :)

I, too, will have to check this out... though I'm afraid of a book that big that you can't. put. down. Am I going to have to put it in saran wrap so I can read in the shower? Get it on tape so I can listen to it while I'm driving? Buy it on iTunes so I can have it on my iPod at work? Hide it in my Betty Crocker so I can pretend to be reading the recipe while I burn dinner?

I'm scared. Someone hug me.

Stephanie Thornton said...

Wow- those do sound massive and totally awesome! I'll have to check them out!

Jemi Fraser said...

Sounds like a great trilogy. I hope someone hates my writing with such fiery passion someday!! :)